10 Things the Lord Taught us in Our First Year of Marriage

Our first year of marriage has flown by! Like so quick. Just this time last year we were gearing up to say our “I Do’s.” This feels so surreal. All the memories we have had throughout these months, I can’t imagine what another year will be like! This has all been so eye opening and exciting! We feel so blessed and favored by the Lord. I love our relationship and more so our friendship. The one thing that I am grateful for is when we were preparing for marriage we made ourselves ready FOR marrriage not an extravagant wedding day.

We get so caught up in the day that we forget that there is a whole life waiting for us after and we have to be prepared for it. Naturally and spiritually. There is fruit in preparation and our marriage has been incredibly sweet because of it. Here are some things that the Lord taught us this last past year as husband and wife.

Don’ be afraid to communicate

• No matter how hard the conversation, you have to bring it up. The more things get swept under the rug, the more you will have to clean up later. Why not clean each spill as they come, in love and with respect! If something is bothering you, trust me, your spouse will want you to bring it up before resentment settles in.

The world does not revolve around you

• When Joshua and I first got married I learned this quick! If Joshua was having a hard day or being quiet, it wasn’t because he was mad or unhappy with me, it was because we all have days sometimes! I had to pop my own bubble and get the revelation that not everything is about me. We have hard days sometimes, it is my job to make sure coming home is safe and peaceful for my husband.
• At our wedding we washed each other feet and vowed that no matter what is falling apart outside of our home, that when we come into our home it is our safe heaven. A place where we wash the crap off of each other and bring each other into this holy space where the presence of the Lord abides.

Selflessness over Selfishness

• Marriage does not work when you are all about you. It isn’t about what your spouse can give to you or what you can get out of your relationship. It is about service and humility.
• Just like Christ, I make myself low to build up my spouse in the Lord.

Out serve each other

• This is my favorite. Joshua and I love doing small things for each other. We don’t keep tabs on who does more than the other rather we work to out serve each other. When Joshua gives, I give that much more back, so on and so forth.
• This mindset of serving keeps things very fun and exciting! “What can I do for my husband today that would make him smile?”

Our relationship over anything else

• Our marriage means nothing if I have better relationships with everyone else. I should be concerned about where my husband and I stand before anyone or anything else.
• When Joshua and I are on the same page we are united and we are strong.
• Then enemy hates marriage. When we were dating he did everything to keep us close and intimate, but as soon as we got married he did everything to keep us apart.
• When you know how the enemy will attack this point will hit hard! You have to be united, keeping God at the center, ready for whatever comes your way.

Dream together

• Don’t get me wrong, having your own dreams is amazing. My dream is to grow this blog and bring souls to Christ. Joshua prays over me and believes with me. It means the world to me.
• But when we dream up new things together, there is a certain spark that brings you both even closer! Building a house, moving to another state, having children, building finances, working in ministry together, etc. To have dreams that you bth share is holy, biblical, and Godly.
• Make a dream or vision board. Pray over it and make small steps to get there, handing them over to the Lord to see how He blesses it!

Our own relationships with God still have to be watered

• When Joshua and I first got married we did all of our alone time together. It was beautiful but we realized that we still needed our own time and our prayer life.
• We still had to go before the Lord ourselves, and water the relationship that we had when we were single
• Although Joshua and I are incredibly close, there are still prayers that I pray that he doesn’t know about. I pray about him, our comes, my hopes and dreams, my sin and brokenness. All things that I need to take to the Lord for myself.
• When you get married don’t let your personal relationship with the Lord starve, stay in it!

Work together always

• I love our dynamic. We do have traditional marriage roles however, when I am having a long day, I come home to a clean house smelling like bleach. What a beautiful sight! Joshua understands tat even in our small and cozy home that I need help sometimes.
• He sets his pride aside and helps me. I do the same for him. Work together always!
• Don’t let the way you have always done things get in the way. When you see your husband needing help, don’t ask if he needs help, just do the thing. He will notice and adore you for it!

Not everything has to be a fight

• This is so important! Yes, just like point number one, if something is bothering you, speak up. But there are conversations that don’t have to become an arguement.
• For example. our gender reveal. I don’t want to know what the gender is until I give birth. Joshua on the hand really wants to know so the compromise is that we will wait ti be surprised that this maybe for our last baby. Recently I scheduled our anatomy appointment and requested for the gender to be out in an envelope so we can share it with our family and be surprised all together. Well, Joshua still doesn’t desire to have that level of surprise.
• I could feel myself getting really upset since I already had to compromise. I wanted to tell him exactly what we on my mind but I realized that an argument where I have to be right is oriented. We will do what Joshua wants because on numerous occasions he respects what I want.
• Not everything has to be a fight! Pick your battles. As a Christian woman we have to discern what needs to be discussed because you are hurt and when to deal with things lovingly and with humility.

Cultivate community

• This something that Joshua and I are still working on.
• It is important that you both have people to confide in and be mentored by individually and together.
• Be poured into! Our Pastors do that for us and the young adult group at our church. We also have our best friends that we hang out with.
• What people do you have in your life like this? If you need community, pray about it because God cares! He will send people your way!